Original Poster (OP) finds herself caught in a difficult dilemma when her best friend’s wedding is rescheduled to a date she’s responsible for her 3-year-old Daughter, Annie. Despite attempts to negotiate a compromise, tensions escalate, resulting in a fallout that leaves OP questioning her friendship and her own judgment.
The Ill-Fated Wedding Date
The post starts with OP mentioning her best friend’s wedding, which was initially set for April. Unfortunately, a fire broke out at the venue, forcing a postponement. As a result, the original wedding date was moved.
A Custody Quirk
OP has a 3-year-old daughter, Annie, and the original wedding date luckily fell on a day when Annie was supposed to be with her ex. However, the rescheduled date coincided with OP’s day with Annie.
Work-Life Balancing Act
OP and her ex work at the same place but on opposite shifts. When they split, their custody agreement was cleverly built around this arrangement. As long as one was at work, the other could take care of Annie.
The Rescheduling Conundrum
The rescheduled wedding date was only announced a month in advance. Unfortunately, OP’s ex couldn’t take the day off due to short notice and too many colleagues already being off.
A Search for Options
No one in OP’s family was available to look after Annie. All of her friends were attending the wedding, and even the parents of Annie’s friends were unavailable to help.
Negotiating Childcare at the Wedding
OP asked her best friend if she could bring Annie to the wedding, suggesting that her mother could pick Annie up at 3 o’clock. Her friend declined, stating that the wedding was to be child-free.
A Bridesmaid’s Dilemma
Frustrated, OP told her friend that she would only be able to attend the reception, sacrificing her role as a bridesmaid. Her friend was not pleased and insisted on finding a babysitter instead.
Unable to find a babysitter, OP informed her friend that she would miss the ceremony but could attend the reception. Her friend told her not to bother coming at all, which led to a falling out.
Silence and Confusion
After the refusal, OP’s best friend didn’t speak to her for several days. OP took this as confirmation that she shouldn’t attend any part of the wedding.
The Angry Text
OP received an angry text from her friend’s mother, questioning her absence at the wedding reception. Confused, OP explained what had transpired between her and her best friend.
A Mother’s Excuse
Her friend’s mother claimed that the bride had been stressed due to wedding preparations and that OP shouldn’t have taken her words seriously. This left OP even more hurt and confused.
Regrets and Missed Moments
OP felt regretful about missing her best friend’s wedding. She wished she had attended despite the unclear signals from her friend.
The Questions That Linger
OP is left wondering whether she is the “bad guy” in this situation. She took her friend’s words at face value and opted not to attend, based on her best understanding at the time. If OP had known her friend didn’t mean what she said, she would have gone to the reception.
Was Not Going To Her Best Friend’s Wedding Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “Your best friend may have been stressed but also left you with no options, so it was decided for you.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “You can’t just lock your child in a closet somewhere and go. You tried to find a realistic solution, but nothing worked out.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “People should say what they mean and mean what they say. She told you not to bother coming, and you listened.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “Your kid’s safety trumps a wedding. Your friend sounds a bit self-absorbed at this moment.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.